When Is It Time To Give Up On Your Marriage?

Anyone who’s married can tell you: it’s not always easy.  Every marriage has ups and downs, and the downs can be pretty rough.  Many couples survive these lows, confident that it’s just a temporary hitch in the road.  But when is it just fanciful thinking to believe that things are going to improve?

Signs it’s Time to Move On 

There are some general rules that indicate what you’re experiencing in your marriage is not just a phase; it’s a broken marriage.  If you’ve been thinking about divorce, these may be the signs that the time is right:

1-    You suffer abuse:  Whether it’s emotional, mental, financial, physical, and/or sexual, you should never tolerate any type of abuse from your spouse.  Things will not improve without significant interventions, and are likely to worsen over time.  Put yourself and your mental and physical health first, and get out now.

2-    The two of you do not share an equal level of commitment:  If you feel as though you are always the one trying to work out the problems, always offering the compromise, and facing a dead end, your spouse may not be interested in improving the relationship.  You can’t do it on your own.  If you both cannot commit to working on your issues, you may be better off on your own.

3-    You find yourself looking for someone else: Maybe you’re afraid to be alone. You know you’re unhappy in your marriage, but haven’t started divorce proceedings.  Nevertheless, you can’t help but keep your antennae up and tuned into the possibility of a different, better relationship with a different, better partner.  Now it seems that you’re the one who’s not willing to do the work to revive your marriage, so do yourself—and your spouse—a favor, and move on.

4-    Your spouse cannot be trusted:  Everyone makes mistakes, and many couples manage to survive them and even grow stronger because of them.  But if your spouse has chronic, unrelenting issues with addiction, infidelity, money, or violence, you should understand that deep-seated issues are driving those behaviors.  The likelihood of things changing without major work is very slim. If you’re not up for the work, or if your spouse is not, consider a fresh start.

5-    You keep looking for advice on moving on:  It sounds like you want to leave your marriage, but don’t quite have the gumption to follow through with it.  No one else can tell you when the time is right.  You simply have to rely on your own experience and knowledge about the situation, call an experienced, local divorce attorney, and get the ball rolling.

When the Decision is Made 

If the time for divorce is now, the committed Springfield divorce attorneys at Courtney & Mills are prepared to work toward your goals as you progress through the divorce process.  To discuss your situation, schedule a confidential consultation in our office today.