Not Sure About Divorce?

Many people have contemplated divorce, unable to decide with certainty whether it’s the right path or not.  That’s because divorce is a whopping, usually final, rung on the ladder in one’s marriage.  Sometimes it’s difficult to know if and when it’s the right time to move forward with it.  If you find yourself wondering if your marriage is in a perpetual slump or if it’s just a temporary (albeit very long) lull, don’t be too hard on yourself. Instead, take steps to figure out the best path forward.

• For starters, if violence is an issue in your marriage, keep your thoughts to yourself until you’re ready to act on them.
• If abuse isn’t an issue, now is the time to take a hard look at your marriage to determine if it’s worth fighting for. Is there still love smoldering there somewhere? Would you find real happiness if you said goodbye?
• Put aside some cash. If you go forward with this, you may need it.
• Survey your options. Perhaps some time apart would benefit your marriage.  Have you considered couple’s counseling?  Are you and your spouse open to having a serious talk about any discontent in the marriage and to making some changes?
• Consider your own role in the success of the marriage. Are you committed to it, or are you holding something back?  Do you have such a confluence of emotions that it’s difficult to know what you really want? How can you address your personal issues, aside from those involving your partner?
• If you decide you really want to give your marriage another shot, jump in with both feet. Communicate, commit, and don’t look back.
• If you conclude that divorce is the best option, put together a plan relating to next steps, knowing there are going to be some tough days ahead. How will you tell your spouse? What will you ask for? Who will represent you? How will you break the news to your kids? Your family and friends?
• Face your fears. Figure out what worries you most following divorce?  Come up with a tentative plan to address those challenges.
• Plan for impacts on your children.  Be present to address their needs moving forward as best you can.  Encourage a connection with their other parent, and keep them protected from the disagreements that naturally occur in divorce.
• Investigate the divorce laws in the state of Missouri and prepare a list of questions to present to a local divorce attorney. Make sure you understand your rights and responsibilities.
• Be practical. Consider finances, the possibility of moving, and how your daily life will change if you don’t have a partner to help. Do you know how to manage the bills and monthly budget? What happens if the babysitter cancels on a school day? You’d be surprised at the number of items that will spring up unexpectedly and require you to think on your feet.
• Gather the financial documents you’ll need to proceed—bank statements, check stubs, mortgage and loan documentation and so forth.
• Be benevolent—to both yourself and to your soon-to-be ex.

When The Time is Right 

When divorce is the right step, the experienced Springfield family attorneys at Courtney & Mills are here to help.  We always strive to achieve the best possible outcomes for you.  Schedule a confidential consultation in our Springfield office today.