Making Sense of Your Divorce
Getting divorced can be quite painful, and the angst often lasts long after the final papers are signed. For some, making sense of a life that’s been turned upside down can be a frustrating quest. But it is possible, with a little time and soul-searching.
Getting Support
The first thing you need to do is find yourself a reliable source of support. Whether that’s a friend or family member, or a more formal system like a support group, clergy member, or therapist, the key is to find a way to feel a part of something. Getting out of the house on a regular basis and talking with someone who has your back can help you inch toward a feeling of normalcy.
Create a New Relationship with Your Ex
While you may feel that you’ve lost your spouse (and rightly so), it’s certainly possible for many divorced couples to reframe their relationship. In the best scenarios, former spouses can be friends, sometimes even vacationing as a family. At the very least, it would be in the best interests of the kids to form some sort of collaborative team that works together to address scheduling and other needs of the children. While the spousal relationship is forever over, a new kind of partnership can be fulfilling and purposeful.
Co-Parenting Ideas
Creating stability for your children is a top priority, especially during times of transition. You can do this with the help of your former partner by keeping these ideas in mind:
- Effective communication is the most important piece of the puzzle.
- Coming to an agreement about rules and expectations will make life much easier for the kids. Sure, your parenting styles will not be identical, but try to coordinate about chores, homework policies, social media, and curfews, for example, so kids have consistent expectations.
- Encourage a healthy relationship between your kids and your ex. Give them the freedom to love you both, and to experience the good things your ex has to offer. When you do feel like griping about your former spouse, do it out of earshot of the kids.
- Model empathy. Your children will learn and grow when they see you giving your ex a break when things don’t necessarily go as smoothly as you’d like.
- Make considered decisions when it comes to new partners. It may come as a shock for your kids to see you with someone else romantically. When that time comes, be sure all the adults are in agreement as to the role of the new partner.
The Light at the End of the Tunnel
With time, letting go of the negative feelings associated with your divorce and stepping into a new life with confidence and optimism is truly possible. The experienced, compassionate Springfield family attorneys at Courtney & Mills are always rooting for positive outcomes following divorce. To discuss your situation, schedule a confidential consultation in our Springfield office today.
Source:
cnn.com/2024/03/19/health/divorce-positive-wellness/index.html
