Is a Tragic Event Threatening Your Marriage?

A natural disaster destroys your home; a young child is killed in a car accident; you are diagnosed with a serious illness: these are all incredibly difficult situations that can lead to depression, anger, guilt, and frustration. In a perfect world, partners would pull together to help one another get through these tragedies. But clearly, it’s not a perfect world we live in.

Becoming Distant 

If you find yourself feeling more distant from your spouse now than ever before, you are not alone. Studies indicate that a catastrophic event increases the likelihood of divorce for many couples. When the rhythm of the relationship undergoes significant change, it’s often extremely difficult to recover.

Suggestions That May Help 

No one wants to see a satisfying marriage fall apart when misfortune strikes—but many people just don’t know what to do with the knot of emotions they’re experiencing. Instead of blaming one another or growing apart, here are some ideas that might help you get through the ordeal together:

• Allow one another the space you need. If you are both achingly raw, you’re going to need some alone time to process what’s happened.
• Respect one another’s needs. One of you may need to lie in bed and cry, the other may want to hit the gym for hours on end. Maybe one partner craves normalcy, and the other can’t face it.  These reactions are all normal and should be allowed guilt-free.
• Be candid in your conversations. Share what you’re really feeling and what you need.
• Schedule check-ins with each other. Don’t let too much time go by without letting your partner know how you are doing and finding out where they stand emotionally.  This should be done at least daily.
• Listen Openly. Some difficult feelings will be coming out, but only if you both believe you can bear your soul without being judged.
• Get support elsewhere, too. Don’t rely on one another for strength all the time—allow others in your life to hear you out and help you out.
• Remember to take care of yourselves. Getting run down from poor eating, exercise, and sleep habits will not help you to move forward. Pamper yourself with things that soothe, whether it’s listening to music, taking a long walk, or watching some favorite movies. Do your best to regulate the necessities of life and take time to unwind.
• Seek therapy. Don’t think you have to get through this alone. Professional help is available to assist as you work through difficulties.
• Take the time you need to heal. No, it will never disappear from your memory and your heart, but the pain will lessen over time. Be easy on yourself and your spouse as you maneuver the weeks and months ahead.

When Nothing Works 

If you’ve done everything you can and still believe there is no hope of saving your marriages, the compassionate, experienced Springfield divorce attorneys at Courtney & Mills can help you achieve your goals in a divorce. Schedule a confidential consultation today.

Source:

abcnews.go.com/Health/life-events-lead-divorce/story?id=29960726