Divorcing Over Politics
Remember the old adage—It’s impolite to discuss politics or religion in mixed company? Apparently, that’s true even if you’re married. It seems the passions associated with the topics—politics in particular for our purposes—can lead to some pretty hard feelings, and can even destabilize an otherwise good relationship and lead to divorce. In fact, divorcing due to this very polarization is more and more common these days.
Contributing Factors
One expert cited the impact of modern technology in this divorce trend, saying that the constant access to political news and opinions spurs people to get more fired up about political topics and candidates. And when individuals in a relationship are from two different parties, with very different opinions, the strain to the union is all but inevitable.
Tribalism is Everywhere
The kind of loyalties to certain candidates or philosophies these days are deep and unwavering, and it’s not uncommon for advocates on either side of the divide to view the other as an enemy. Obviously, that’s not a healthy attitude in a marriage. Maybe that’s why over one in 10 individuals surveyed said that a key factor to their break-up was the difference of opinions related to politics. Millennials were even higher.
A Sign of Bigger Issues?
Because politics often align with the core values we hold, differences in political identities can be a sign of differences that go much deeper. One’s worldview, when clashed up against a very different philosophy, may reveal fundamental differences in outlook that are very different. If people can’t find common ground in their marriage, or at least find a way to honor and respect basic differences, the relationship may be in serious trouble. Can people live with someone who is on the other end of the spectrum politically? The chances of a successful relationship diminish when there’s a constant effort to change the other person’s point of view. Is mutual respect a possibility? In these heated political times, sometimes it’s just not.
Cooling the Temperature
Here are some ideas to help get through those escalating political discussions:
- Communicate with respect, using basic ground rules that employ listening, calm voices, and reliance on shared goals.
- Instead of dismissing your partner’s opinion out of hand, develop a curiosity about their stance and what motivates them to think that way.
- If your spouse becomes disrespectful, call it out immediately so it doesn’t become a pattern. And hold yourself accountable, as well.
If There’s Just No Resolution
If you’re one of the many couples who just can’t survive the political differences in your marriage, the experienced Springfield family attorneys at Courtney & Mills are here for you. We will work to ensure the best possible outcomes for you. Schedule a confidential consultation in our Springfield office today.
