Moving in with Your Parents After Divorce
If divorce has left you high and dry on all fronts and the best option you have is to move back in with your parents until you can get back on your feet, you are not alone. There are lots of people who find they need some time to stabilize—financially, emotionally, and otherwise– before trekking out on their own again, and some of the names on that list might surprise you:
Shaquille O’Neal found that regrouping while living with his mom following his divorce from Shaunie O’Neal was a good way to get his confidence back. Other famous people who returned to their parent’s homes following a divorce include Bethany Frankel, Tish Cyrus, Kim Kardashian, Pamela Anderson, and Britney Spears.
Dealing with the Transition
Certainly, moving back “home” is going to be a big transition for everyone involved. It’s best to go into the arrangement with open eyes, clear boundaries, and reasonable expectations. Some things to consider before making the move include:
- What will the benefits be for you?
- Are the dynamics between you and your parents such that this will be a workable arrangement?
- Will the environment be supportive, or disruptive, to your goals?
- Will you be able to make necessary adjustments in order to nurture the relationship with your parents?
Making it Work
There are things you will need to do in order to make this arrangement work. For starters, honest, open communication is a must. Before any move, discuss their concerns, and come up with a strategy to address any problems that may arrive. Once you’re there, don’t assume that if you don’t hear about any issues there are none. Take it upon yourself to check in regularly and address any misunderstandings, slights, or difficulties.
Clarify Roles
It’s going to be crucial that you have a discussion with regard to expectations and the interactive roles you’ll all be playing. Are you going to expect your mom to do your laundry and cook for you again? While some moms would be delighted to slip back into that position, others would be mortified at the expectation. Everyone in this situation is going to be coming at this from different angles. Be sure you understand their perspectives, and there is a clear agreement on multiple issues, including:
- The proposed length of the stay;
- Your contributions to the household financially;
- Expectations related to domestic chores;
- Definitions of personal space;
- Whether you are allowed to invite friends and/or overnight guests;
- Whether you will bring your belongings or store them elsewhere;
- How and where the children, if you have them, will be involved.
A Healing Time
Moving back home with parents can provide a safe space to heal after a difficult divorce. At Courtney & Mills, our Springfield family attorneys always strive to uncomplicate the divorce and achieve the best possible outcomes for you. To discuss, schedule a confidential consultation in our Springfield office today.
