Adult Children’s Response to Their Parents’ Divorce

As more and more people over the age of 50 find themselves getting divorced, many are finding that relationships among adult children can get pretty complicated. What’s going on that makes gray divorce so complicated, and what can be done to mitigate the issues?

Gray Divorce on the Rise

 In a single decade, the rate of divorce among Americans 50+ doubled, and some predict that the divorce rate will jump by another 30 percent or so by 2030. With over one- third of modern divorces occurring between older couples in this country, it’s clear that they are increasingly unhappy together.

Divorce = Stress 

Even the simplest divorces can be very stressful, and for couples who’ve been together for decades, the impacts can be particularly difficult. Current research is clear: both people in a divorce suffer greater rates of depression, substance abuse, illness, and mortality than married couples. Divorcees are 20 percent more likely to experience long-term health impacts like mobility issues, heart disease, diabetes, metabolic problems, digestive issues, and even cancer.

Adult Kids Can Complicate Matters

 When the inescapable stress of divorce is complicated by factors such as the reactions of adult children, anxiety levels can certainly escalate.  Sadly, it’s not uncommon for kids to blame one parent for wronging the other and wrecking the family. In some cases they simply cannot accept that their family is breaking apart, even though they’ve often moved on with their own lives. The impact can be devastating to a parent when adult children become estranged due to their anger and confusion related to their parents’ divorce. Research confirms that when parents lose touch with an adult child for a year or more, it intensifies mental and physical health problems for the affected parent.

Adult Kids are in Pain 

The truth is that adult children are often just as crushed by their parents’ divorce as young kids are, which may explain the children of divorcees who are adults themselves often have difficulty coping with these events. After all, their lives will likely change in ways they hadn’t previously considered:  How will their kids’ birthday parties be organized? What will Christmas be like? How should they react if one or both parents start dating again? How will basic conversations feel anywhere close to normal with so many changes under foot?  It can all feel like too much to handle. What can be done?

Consider Counseling 

It may seem uncomfortable to engage in family counseling at this point, but some experts believe it’s precisely the thing that could help to repair relationships between adult children and their parents following a troubling divorce. It may be worth considering in some cases.

Your Divorce Concerns Addressed 

At Courtney & Mills our experienced Springfield family attorneys always work to achieve the best possible outcomes for you. To discuss your situation, schedule a confidential consultation in our Springfield office today.

Source:

psychologytoday.com/us/blog/better-divorce/202208/the-real-long-term-physical-and-mental-health-effects-divorce